A note to 5 year old me…

Dear 5 year old me,

Thank you for fearlessly being you. Thank you for being proud of your knowledge. Thank you for being proud of your “facts” even when they were wrong. You were amazing for being able to be so stubborn and yet so easily persuaded and gullible.

Kindergarten will be fun! I know that one girl who stole the dolls is annoying, but trust me, she’s actually pretty cool. Plus, you will meet even more amazing girls once you move on from the dolls and go to the building blocks. It may be surprising to have a classmate’s mom take a picture of you playing with her daughter when you hardly know them, but smile anyways. She will be one of your best friends.

Be kind to everyone. One day, when you go on to high school and graduate, the majority of these classmates will still be your friends.

I wish you hadn’t said you would marry that brown haired boy. Please don’t think you will marry someone just because they have the same colored hair as you. Yes, you are precious and everybody should love you, but you are too young to marry someone. Don’t stress too much though, sweetie. He wasn’t all that anyways.

It is okay to cry. It is okay for boys to cry as well. Care for those who are hurt, and one day they will care for you when you’re hurt. You don’t have to be friends with everyone. I just need you to be kind to everyone.

Live life to its fullest while you can. Don’t be such a stickler for the rules. I know, it’s no fun getting in trouble, but you will be fine. When you’re young and cute, you get away with much more than you will in the future. So if you ever want to stay up past bed time to play video games, do it now. If you ever want to go to the big kid playground, do it! Enjoy your first year of elementary school. Enjoy your last year of structured fun. From here on out it’s structured learning. So enjoy!

xoxo,

future you

New Home?

I’m nervous to be moving out of the homes I grew up in. I’m socially awkward and difficult to deal with sometimes, so how is this whole “make new friends” thing going to work? I’m nervous that my new roommates are going to end up hating me because of my living habits. I’m nervous that I won’t be able to find my way to school from my new home….

Is it a new home though? It is definitely a new place to live; a new house. Yet there’s a little piece of me that doesn’t feel completely comfortable calling this new house a home.

It’s so different from my homes that I’ve known. My homes have my family and friends; they’re in cities I know well. This new house does not have my family or friends. I also don’t know the city well. It’s nerve-wracking. Moving to a new city by myself.

A home is supposed to be a place of safety and relaxation, right? This new home makes me nervous. Maybe I’m just being a worry-wart. It will be better once I live here longer. Think positively!! Right? Everything takes time. Of course it will take time for me to feel comfortable on my own. Of course it will take time to develop trust and a good relationship with my roommates. Any change will take time getting used to. I will have fun. 🙂 This will be my new home.

current mood

last listened to in Spanish songs

“Escápate Conmigo” by Wisin, Ozuna

“Despacito” by Luis Fonsi ft. Daddy Yankee

“Me Enamoré” by Shakira

“Subeme la Radio” by Enrique Iglesias, Descemer Bueno, Zion & Lennox

“Reggaetón Lento (Bailemos)” by CNCO

5 Cheap Things to Do During Summer

Summer is ending soon, and, if you’re anything like me, you’ve probably spent a good amount of money. Listed below are some of my favorite summer activities that won’t hurt your wallet.

  1. Go on a hike, walk, or jog. Not only is this a good way  to stay healthy, it is also a fun way to take in nature and get some sun.
  2. Volunteer!! Philanthropy is so rewarding and doesn’t cost a thing!
  3. Host a movie night (movie marathon!!) at home. Microwave some popcorn, turn off the lights and enjoy!
  4. Have a picnic in your backyard. Change things up a bit! Eating outside is better for you than eating in front of your computer.
  5. Build a fort (out of pillows and blankets or out of cardboard and tape). While it may seem childish, it will definitely keep you entertain for quite some time. 🙂

5 Things to Do During Summer

Summer is almost always very busy or very boring. There never seems to be a good medium. Listed below are some of my favorite things to do during summer. Enjoy!

  1. Go out to eat! There will never not be a place you and your friends can try out. Bonus: everyone gets fed!!
  2. Go to the movies. Lots of good movies come out during the summer. Buy some movie tickets from Costco or go for a matinee show time for a cheaper ticket.
  3. Go to a museum. As a kid museums seem boring, but going back as your older it’s a lot of fun! Go back to your favorite museum and see how much has changed!
  4. Go shopping; better yet, go thrift store shopping.
  5. Laser tag!! If you and your friends are more competitive or active, I can guarantee you’ll have fun at laser tag.

Regret

An open letter to my family.

Sorry. Sorry Mom, for ignoring your your silent cries at night when we were supposedly asleep. Sorry for the stress caused by the need to provide for daughters. Sorry for taking you for granted. Truth be told, I’ve had a pretty sweet life. Thanks to your hard work. Thank you for sheltering me. I’m okay now. I will be okay. I am a fighter. You don’t need to worry about me anymore.

Sorry. Sorry Dad, for disrespecting you. Sorry for not spending time with you. Sorry for taking you for granted. Truth be told, I’ve had a pretty great life. Thanks to your support. Thank you for being there to listen to my smallest problems and taking them on as if they were the biggest concern. I’m okay now. I will be okay. I am a fighter. You don’t need to worry about me anymore.

Sorry. Sorry Sister, for judging you for materialistic reasons. Sorry for my lack of interest in your activities/hobbies. Sorry for taking you for granted. Truth be told, I’ve had a pretty fun life. Thanks to your silliness. Thank you for not caring about what others think of you and for being proud of who you are. I hope you are okay. I’m okay. I hope you will forever be okay (with little to no stress). I will be okay. I know you are a fighter. Thank you for making me want to be a stronger fighter. I will always worry about you, but you don’t need to worry about me anymore.

Sorry. Sorry to my entire family. Please know that I could wish for a different family or different home all I want, but they’d never nurture me the way this family did. I’ve come to love who I am today, so thank you for nurturing me all these years.

I know it has not been easy. But after each terrible storm I find myself more thankful for each of you. Thankful that I have each of you in my life, and that I will forever have you in my life because that is what families are for: support through your ups and downs forever. After each storm, I regret ever making you unhappy. I wish I hadn’t said something or done something, but once it is done and said there’s no amount of taking it back that could make up for the pain incited. I’m sorry. The storms taught me how painful it is to see someone you love hurt and crying. I would not wish it upon my worst enemy. Please know that I love you all.

xoxo, Your Daughter or Sister

Top 10 Things I Learned by the End of Senior Year of High School

  1. Junior year was not the hardest. It was the most stressful; likely because of tests.
  2. Start your college application(s) during the summer between junior and senior year. Edit and complete the application(s) throughout your senior year.
  3. If you retake the SAT or ACT (or any other test really), study the difficult concepts to make repeating the test worthwhile.
  4. Senior year may be difficult at times, but it is the most memorable. In a good way. 🙂 Look for positives in everything.
  5. If you find something you are passionate about (ex: feminism, animal rights, community service, leadership, etc.) go for it! Do what you love; love what you do.
  6. Senior trip (a vacation graduates go on with their friends) may not be possible for you and/or your friends, but you can have chill days locally, or go on a trip during winter or spring break before you graduate!
  7. You will need letters of recommendation at some point. Whether it’s for a college application, summer camp, job, or internship, it helps to have teachers who can write solid recommendations for you.
  8. That being said, participate in class. Make sure your teachers know who you are starting sophomore and junior year!
  9. Make use of your teachers. If they are sacrificing their lunches or staying after school, go ask them questions. If you don’t have any questions, you can simply go and talk to them.
  10. Take photos. Make memories. Participate in school spirit. Just because you’re an upperclassman does NOT make you too cool for Wacky Wednesdays. Senior year is your last year in high school. Make it count.

current mood

reminiscing… waiting… to get a life hahaha 🙂

*** some songs are explicit ***

“I Still Wait For You” by XYLØ

“Quit” by Ariana Grande ft. Sia, Cashmere Cat

“All My Love” by Cash Cash fr. Conor Maynard

“I Like Me Better” by Lauv

“Palm Blvd” by Jake Miller

Top 10 Things I Learned Freshman Year of High School

  1. There are a LOT more people in high school than in middle school. Some are sweet, some are intimidating, some aren’t very nice, but everyone is just as new to the school as you.
  2. Use your locker! At most high schools, you carry your backpack all day. To prevent shoulder and back pain, store some of your binders and textbooks in your locker.
  3. If you get to choose your group for a project, try to find people to work with ASAP. a.k.a. don’t assume people will fight to have you in their group (just because you’re super smart does not mean everyone will automatically want to work with you in a group)
  4. The best presentations have less words on the slides, more interaction with the class, and captivating visuals.
  5. If someone volunteers to do everything for a project, you should still try to help however you can.
  6. Chances are, you will come across at least one person who does nothing in the group. Don’t let them pressure you into doing all the work.
  7. Join a club! or two! or three!
  8. Go to school events! Be it club rush, football games, or dances — be spirited! Have fun!
  9. You may have a difficult time finding “your group,” and that’s totally fine. Maybe you’re more comfortable without a group; that’s totally fine too!
  10. The person next to you is likely just as lost and confused as you are; be lost together! If they know what they’re doing: befriend ’em and have them help you out.