01/28/18 | Happy New Year

New year. New semester. New professors. New classmates. New friends.

Sorry, I lied. Last time I said I would post an abridged version and would go back to write more after finals. However, during winter break (after finals) I didn’t have much to write about… or I did, but I didn’t feel like writing at the time.

I didn’t feel like writing because I was –to put it simply– depressed. It’s a simple nine letter word, yet it describes many emotions, or lack thereof.

A few days before finals, my boyfriend and I decided to take a break. I don’t know what I was doing when I asked for a pause instead of a stop, but in my mind, a break meant there was still hope to stay together; and I held onto every last ounce of that hope. I shouldn’t have though. It drove me insane trying to give him space and I wish I had realized sooner that we just didn’t fit as anything more than friends.

In our case, there were multiple warning signs before that pointed to the sign which read, “it won’t last forever.”  But every girl wants her first love to be her last love, right? So I edited  that sign in my mind, and wrote, “we will last forever if there is enough love.” I believed that as long as there was enough love for each other, then we would be fine. So in every situation or bump in the road, I just told myself to love him more; my extra love will make up for the doubts or lack of love. However, my “extra love” was really just me convincing and guilt-tripping him to stay with me. I was desperate and selfish.

I wish I didn’t do that. I wish I had been mature enough to listen and understand. Not only did my selfishness extend a relationship that was already stretched thin, but it also put the both of us through more stress than necessary. I wish I had accepted that maybe there just wasn’t enough love; or at least not the right kind of love. I think I realized the chances of us lasting in a long-distance relationship were slim, but I wish I had accepted it sooner. I was so scared of being alone that I convinced myself there was no problem; that we would be fine; that we were meant to be; or that we just needed a break and then we would go back to the way we were before.

Ultimately, we did break up. It was not fun, but it was something I learned from. It started to make me reflect on myself; what I want in a significant other and what I want to do for myself, by myself.

I think my edited sign is still true. If there is enough love, we will last forever. It’s just that now I know that the kind of love determines the kind of relationship. Moreover, there is no way to define “enough love,” other than to hope that when there is enough love, we will be so blinded by love that we won’t even see the original sign. Needless to say, I’m glad my first love was him. I am still forever grateful for all of our past experiences as a couple, and the fact that we got to start the new year as friends. 🙂

Going back to my depressing state which prevented me from posting here, I also attended my grandmother’s and great aunt’s funerals recently. These are equally, if not more, upsetting than the break up. However, the break up shook me because it was a new experience whereas funerals are unfortunately nothing new. It pains me to think about my late grandma and late great aunt. They were such amazing people and I aspire to be like both of them. I hope to be a person people can call when they need a friend. I hope to be a person who will stay organized and always go the extra mile to help. I hope to be more giving than selfish. I hope to put a smile on people’s faces. I hope to make memories with friends that we can tell to our future children while laughing. I hope to have few regrets from this day forward because I definitely regret not spending as much time with them.

There is always so much regret in life, and people always say to live without regrets. I agree with that statement, but I also have to say that to not have regrets here-and-there, is to not be conscious or caring of other opportunities. For example, if I were to eat a cake first thing in the morning and not regret it, then it could become a habit which would lead to me being sick. However, if I eat a cake in the morning and later regret it because I had an upset stomach, then I would learn to avoid sugary foods first thing in the morning, which would lead to a healthier lifestyle. I don’t know. Regret is a weird, thought-provoking topic for me; along with time, the power of music, and emotions among other things…. but I digress…

Anyways… that is why I haven’t posted in a while. But now I will try update more often. For realsies. 🙂

To recap my break, real quick, I went to Washington D.C. for the first time! It was absolutely freezing, and I made some not-so-smart sacrifices to the cold just for my outfits. Petty, I know. But totally worth it hahaha. I’m not a fan of museums; usually I get too bored. But the Smithsonian museums were amazing. Overall, I am very happy I went and I am very happy with everywhere we went. I am disappointed we didn’t get to try out some food places in the area, but that just gives me a reason to go back. 😉

I also got to see and hang out with my friends from high school. My best friend and I hosted a mini-winter formal for just our group of friends. We went to the Dollar Tree and Target for supplies, and set up a little scavenger hunt which lead them to dinner, another hint, and then the final destination (the dance). It was so much fun seeing everyone again, and was a nice excuse to get all dressed up just to hang out. Later during break, my friends and I continued to hang out as much as we could before we all went back to school. We played lots of card games, watched some Netflix, and ate lots of food.

Winter break was also a nice time to catch up with family. I missed having people around me who cared about me. Not to say that I don’t have that here at school, but there are definitely a lot of fake people. Being surrounded by love and people who have my best interest in mind was really nice.

On the topic of school, I ended up changing the majority of my schedule during break because I decided I wanted to go into business instead of becoming a teacher. Part of the whole learning about myself and what I can do for myself, included debating my future; mainly in regards to how I will be financially stable in my life. The reasons that really convinced me out of teaching and into business were because I would be doing the same thing every year, I’d need to be patient and understanding with every child, and that I would be on break when everyone else was working. These things just made me reconsider everything. I know that I can get a teaching credential in a year or two, and I have been interested in business before, so I just decided I would stick with business for now, and maybe go back to school to become a teacher in the future if business really isn’t for me.

I think classes this semester started off nicely. I have yet to really see how each professor teaches and how my classmates are, but I will keep ya posted. Extracurricular-wise, I had been debating withdrawing from Akbayan activities, but I decided I will continue to give it my all for at least the rest of this semester. I have also gotten closer with my fam in Akbayan which I am incredibly grateful for, and I’m pretty sure my JSS fam is hanging out more often this semester too! 🙂

Having more things to do is great! It means less time spent with my housemates. I still have not been released from the lease (I need my housemates to sign off on me leaving), so I am continuing to look for people to take over my lease. The reason I want to leave is because it is expensive, in a not-so-great area, and I have no car to get around places. Last semester, I pretty much stayed at home all the time instead of going out because I had no ride. This semester though, I will not let my living situation get to me. I am going to make the most of what I have to work with.

I do have a quiz tomorrow (I know! So soon!) in Japanese, so this will conclude today’s update. I’ll come back in a week or two with more life updates and/or pictures from D.C. If you read all of this, thank you! I know it was a lot, so props to you! ❤


12/09/17 | been too long (abridged version)

wow it’s been forever since I posted on here… I honestly forgot about it for a while…. darn and I even promised I would post more often… so sorry

A lot has happened recently:

  • met my twin in JSS
  • went to JSS winter formal
  • went to Smash (my Akbayan fam) Christmas party
  • my best friend visited me at my apartment
  • midterms have happened
  • finals are coming up
  • my housemates are letting me move out IF I find someone to replace me that they like
  • lots of group projects have been done/are due before the final
  • my grandma passed away and her funeral happened
  • went to the mall with my Smash twin, our kuya, and her biological twin
  • went to JSS Friendsgiving
  • went to this cool place to take photos with JSS people after Friendsgiving
  • went to KAAMPsgiving (Akbayan Thanksgiving potluck)
  • hosted a post-thxgiving potluck for our own friends
  • did a secret santa in internship (Akbayan)
  • planning stuff with my best friend for our group of friends for the break
  • emailed about a job opportunity at a place I applied at months ago
  • haven’t gone to any Circle K things
  • friends from high school and other colleges drove over to visit and go shopping
  • been cutting back on my weekly boba intake

Of course, seeing as how long it has been since I last posted, many more things have occurred. These were just some of the things that came to mind.

Something else that has been on my mind a lot recently is how much I miss people. I miss my boyfriend. I miss my best friend. I miss my guy friends. I miss my family. I also miss laughing until I’m crying and can’t breathe. I miss going to the movies with my friends. I miss looking for memes. I miss keeping track of what I eat. I miss updating on here. I miss having actual conversations with people.

I’ve been so emotional lately; it’s exhausting. It doesn’t help that the stress for finals is finally sinking in either. My first final is on the 14th, and I wanted to study from at least a week before since it is my hardest class, but I started studying last night. Better than nothing I guess, but still — not what I wanted. However, it is not like I am doing anything to help myself right now. After all, I’m procrastinating by writing this instead of writing my paper for PHIL.

I’m in such a funk right now that I can’t even write much. I’ll post this as an abridged version anyways though, since it has been two months, and maybe during winter break, after finals, I’ll come back and give a legitimate update. It’s just that, currently, I don’t know what to write. I don’t know what to do.

I hope you’re eating healthy, having fun, sleeping lots, and enjoying life. Good luck on finals and life, everyone! See you soon.

10/02/17 | Another Three Weeks

I really need to get better about updating this. I’ve just been so busy the past few weeks with the school’s organizations and class assignments.

School Life

By now, I have take two quizzes in my PHIL class and one quiz in my ARTH class. I’ve also given two speeches for MAS and written two papers; one for PHIL and one for MAS. The quizzes are definitely things I wish I studied more for, so, of course, knowing midterms are coming up on Thursday and Monday is very stressful. I also wish I had chosen to write my PHIL paper on same-sex marriage instead of on if pornography leads to violence against women. I say this because there were very few “scholarly” articles on the later topic. I have also learned through these assignments and assessments to carefully and thoroughly read the instructions. I’m grateful I had these opportunities to mess up and learn from my mistakes because now I feel a little more prepared for midterms. I also know now that I definitely need to study at least two days/nights before any quizzes or speeches.


I recently went to a Japanese Student Society social for members who are participating in SKiP. SKiP stands for Senpai Kohoui Program so people get paired up and put into little families. Similar to Bigs and Littles in Greek life. This was only my second JSS event (including the informational night) and each time I have gone by myself, so whenever I have JSS events I always get nervous. I hate being by myself, but I’m trying to expand my comfort zone. There were some ice breakers that had to do with Studio Ghibli and anime. I thought I knew quite a bit about these things, but not nearly as much as everyone else there — that was kind of an awkward moment because everyone must have been thinking how white-washed I was. It was also super nice because one of the girls I talked to at the info night was there and she was keeping me company and talking to me before the event started. She even wanted her Kohoui to pick me up so I could be in her line. I thought that was really sweet.

Very similar to the JSS SKiP mixer was the Akbayan Meet the KAAMPamiliya. This event was last week and it was where all the “littles” meet other “littles” and “bigs” and their families. There was free boba for the people who completed the name bingo game, but by the time my friend and I got to the front of the line there was none left. There is something for Akbayan every single week and to be honest it is somewhat exhausting. However, it is a lot of fun and everyone is super nice. I imagine these events to be my equivalent to not being able to sleep if I were in a dorm.

Lastly, for my little club updates, I went to a Division Council Meeting in Santa Cruz for Circle K. I really did not want to go at first because I wasn’t going to know anybody. Then my friend from middle/high school contacted me and said she was going so I signed up because I missed her/wanted to see her. And then the night before the event, I wanted to back out again. I had looked up on Google Maps how long it would take to get from here to the beach, and it said it would take about 45 minutes. Normally, 45 minutes in a car with people I don’t know would scare me out of going. To add on to that fear, we were meeting over an hour before the event actually started. So basically, we were supposed to meet by 2:30, the drive would be about 45 minutes, and then the event wouldn’t start until 4pm. From 2:30-4, I would have to be with people I had no idea even existed, and that made me not want to go. Luckily, I talked to my boyfriend and calmed down enough to force myself to go. I’m so glad too because I got to see two of my good friends I hadn’t seen in a while and I got to be at a beach.

General Life Update

I saw my family this past weekend!! Like everyone — mom, dad, sister, cats — literally everyone. I hate to admit it (because I never wanted to be the college kid that got super homesick), but I have gone back home for at least one day every weekend. I make a big deal about seeing every one of my family members because every time that I’ve gone back, I never see all of them. So this was a nice change.

I’m so proud of my sister for everything that she’s doing with her musical talent. She performed really well this past weekend even though she had a cough. I’m sure she’s got a lot to deal with right now because of all of her extracurriculars and school, but I missed seeing her. That’s why I made my mom order the food for take out so that we could eat at home with my sister instead of eating at the restaurant like planned.

Speaking of family, I miss my boyfriend a lot. He recently moved away for college, so when I go back now there’s no hanging out with him at all. I miss him a lot and I love him a lot. I’m really grateful because he randomly video-called me on Snapchat one day and it made me so incredibly happy. Plus, now, we just randomly call each other or Snapchat video call each other whenever we have free time. I hope him talking to me doesn’t get in the way of him making friends… but I will never turn down an opportunity to hear his voice or see his face hahaha… It’s so different being so far away, but us against the world; we got this; this ain’t nothin’ on us!! ❤

On another note, I still have not heard back from any of the places I applied to work at which is rather upsetting. The applications to be an orientation leader came out and I was reading through the requirements and everything, but I ultimately decided I would apply next year instead of this year since this year I have to pay for my apartment throughout summer anyways. Moreover, this way my boyfriend and I can potentially take summer classes together. (I mean either way, I will take summer classes this year, but it would be so much better if we took it together.) You see, if you are an orientation leader, you’re not allowed another job on campus and you’re not allowed to take any summer courses (be it online, community college, etc.). Hopefully, it all works out in my favor.

Roommate Drama

Quite frankly, there hasn’t been that much roommate drama. Aside from the night I brought up to two of my roommates that I had been asking about if one person could terminate the lease early. I told them about how I asked the landlady and how since she said it was possible, I was considering terminating my lease early. But that conversation wasn’t that heated or anything, and I ultimately ended up deciding to stick with the year long lease.

Other than that, we haven’t been staying on top of our chores as much which can get annoying when the chores are kitchen or trash duty. The kitchen sink can get so clutter that you have to wash at least one or two things just to wash your own things. The trash not being taken out twice a week is annoying because it often smells bad and/or overflows.

Lastly, not really relevant to our rooming situation, but our next door neighbors finally moved in! They have an adorable puppy and one of my roommates thinks they look hot. I’ve run into two of I-don’t-know-how-many of them though and they just look like skater guys. I just wish they took their puppy out more. Oh yeah! I’ve run into two of them, but it’s always been super awkward because I don’t know what to say or I’m listening to music so I notice them super last minute. Either way, I just hope they haven’t heard me screaming/singing when I’m home alone.


Hope all is well!! 🙂 I promise, I will try to get better about posting more often.

09/12/17 | Three Weeks of College

Hey what’s up? It’s been a while… almost three weeks…

So a lot has happened since the last time I posted. I figured not many people aside from family and friends read this so I’ll actually go into more detail now hahaha.

For starters, I joined Akbayan, Japanese Student Society, and Circle K.

Secondly, I made one friend in two of my classes; so two new friends from my classes. And then two friends tonight at this dance thing.

Classes/My School Schedule

My classes have been manageable thus far. My PHIL class has been okay, I do the readings due each class, we talk about it (basically, our lectures are just reading from the book… which is kind of annoying because then I get bored in class since I already know what we’re talking about — and because its at freaking 9am). I have my first quiz (first college quiz ever woooo!!!) tomorrow for PHIL. I honestly do not feel ready for it even though I did all the readings and attend every class. I think it’s mainly just because it will be my first quiz in college and I don’t know what to expect. (Well I do. Kind of. Because the professor told us. But still.) But yeah! I’ve only had two homework assignments for PHIL (aside from the daily readings) and we now have our first paper due on the 25th. I need to get on that.

My next class is MAS (a public speaking course focused on Mexican American studies). I already had to give my first speech last Wednesday which I prepared for the night before. That must be a bad habit of mine because for as long as I can remember, I’ve always prepared for my speeches the night before I have to present them. My professor emailed the class the night before (at like 11pm) reminding us about the speech and about his office hours; in case we wanted to practice on him and get feedback before class. I worked up the courage to email him and I asked him if I could come in during the start of his office hours to practice (so that if I had anything to fix I’d have more time to fix it because again, he emailed us the night before… so we were going in for office hours and practicing an hour before class started). I went in and gave my speech and he was basically like “that’s good there’s nothing to fix what are you worried about?” Which gave me a confidence boost but at the same time I knew it wasn’t that good so I was like “why ain’t he tellin’ me how to improve?” Also, when I gave my speech in class I did mess up, but whatever it was just the first speech.

My third class is the class I have trouble staying awake in every time: ARTH. I still have yet to skip class which is good!! I’m attending class!! We have daily readings in this class too, and we are expected to memorize certain images and their designer and things like that which is tough. I almost always knock out because there are so many people the professor can’t really see me, it’s hot in the room (only fans/no AC), and because the lights are always dimmed so we can see the presentation. So I started playing on my phone in that class even though none of these classes allow electronics. Hehehe college rebel.

My fourth class (first class on TR) has been one of the most memorable despite its slow pace. It is my global warming class. I think it’s the most interesting because we spend the first half of class discussing and watching videos of recent events in the climate (like hurricane harvey or irma). It is also the only class that allows electronics. The professor is also pretty chill and loves what he does which is always nice. I realized it was one of my more memorable classes because while my friends and I were walking around and talking about things, I’d be like “oh thats blablabla/aka thing I learned from class.” Also, one of my classmates in this class is joining Circle K too, so maybe new friend?

My last class is intro to comparative politics. At first I thought this class was going to be pretty bearable, but then there was one day that made me realize it would be weird. That one day, the professor asked if there were any questions and one girl raised her hand and was like “why is the presentation not in full screen presenter view?” (because he just had the power point open and was going from there). And he was explaining how it wasn’t working with the projector at the moment and everything and the girl straight up went up to his laptop, nudged him aside, and started messing with it (to try to fix it). I was so surprised! “That’s the professor’s laptop! We are in the middle of class and this is taking up class time!” Those sorts of thoughts ran through my head. After that incident, he has always had his slideshows in presenter/full screen mode so it hasn’t been an issue. However, again, this class’s lectures are basically things I wrote down when I was doing the assigned reading, so class gets pretty boring. Today though we watched a 42 minute video! Apparently someone in our class is a visual learner or something so he needs to do less lectures and more pictures/videos. I approve. It makes it more fun for me haha.


Outside of classes, I hang out with my friends a lot. That does unfortunately mean paying for more food, but that will probably stop soon and we’ll all just pack lunches and hang out. Like I mentioned earlier, I also joined a few clubs/organizations on campus. One of which is Akbayan, or the Pilipino club at school. It has been super fun. Big time commitment though. Today they had three different things going on that we were trying to go to so I didn’t end up getting home until around 11pm. One of those things was a dance class because they’re performing at a big event in October. I went because I want to learn how to dance. I really, really wish I could dance. Unfortunately, I have re-learned that I am slow at learning dances and memorizing them. It was pretty embarrassing. Nonetheless, it was fun and I’m glad I went. Hopefully, my friend and I will continue going (despite it being a big time commitment).

The other club I mentioned was the Japanese Student Society. I went to their welcome meeting by myself which was a big step for me since I have been doing everything else with other friends. It was slightly awkward at first because I got there early, so I was just standing outside with my earbuds in, leaning against a wall until they were ready. Additionally, it seemed like everyone there spoke Japanese. I do not. It was really overwhelming and I honestly felt out of place; I wanted to leave. Eventually, I found myself a seat at the end of a row and sat down. There were these really nice Japanese exchange students who came and sat next to me closer to when the meeting started, too. They were super friendly and a couple of them even said I looked like a Japanese model named Shelly. Needless to say, one of the girls took selfies with me during the icebreaker portions of the meeting. I’m proud of myself for going and sticking through with the meeting even though I was by myself.

Lastly, I dragged one of my friends with me to the Circle K meeting tonight. Not going to lie, it was incredibly boring. It was also a little unorganized and clique. Like the people who knew the board or had been in the club before were more exclusive, and the people who had never been stuck with their friends or stayed quiet by themselves. I had a lot of energy by the time we got to the meeting and I was trying to hype it up by clapping more and speaking up/cheering for people. I feel bad though because I sassed this one guy multiple times. I honestly didn’t mean to be rude, I was just joking around/saying what I was trying to say. Like one time, he asked if we were going to go to an event and I was like “mm maybe” or “we’ll see” that sort of thing. This guy was an officer too! And one of the more energetic (which is really not saying much) people too! Anyways, that meeting was rough and I was glad to be out of it. I will probably still join just so I can volunteer here and there and meet up with friends in other schools’ CKIs.


Also, just adding on to the whole extracurricular thing, I’m going to apply for a job at a boba place a block from campus. I am aiming to work on the weekends since Akbayan and Japanese Student Society and have things on weekdays, but we shall see. I was not going to get a job my first semester just because I wanted to see how well I could balance my schedule and everything, but I really do need the money if I want to do anything outside of going to school and eating and sleeping.


General Life Update

More of my friends have gone off to their respective colleges now. I have cried on multiple occasions, but I know I will see them soon and I have confidence we will keep in touch and remain friends.

I miss my friends a lot. I go back home almost every weekend, but I usually end up staying with or hanging out with my boyfriend the most. I wish my friends would come visit me!!! I love my boyfriend a ton and the only time we have together is during the weekends, and even then it may only be one day. It makes me so sad because this is his (and my other friends’) last weekends at home before he leaves for his school. Which is also why I’m applying for that job — because I won’t have anything to do during the weekends after he leaves.

Of course, I miss my family too! I could go back every weekend to visit my family instead of getting a job, but my family knows I need my space and independence. I need to learn how to be an independent grown up now, while I still have their support to lean on. They know that. They know I don’t avoid them. I do wish my sister would talk to me more about her days or whatever she’s doing, but this is her most stressful year (and that’s saying a lot because she’s always stressed about school). I know my Dad has his own plans and concerns to deal with right now. Plus, I actually do text my Dad quite often so I feel like I haven’t really left him. Lastly, my Mom has invited me over for movie nights or whatever but I always have plans so that hasn’t worked out. So please, don’t get me wrong, I do in fact love my family. I just need space to grow up on my own too. To my family reading this: I love you guys! Invite me over for more stuff and I’ll probably decline, but it warms my heart and maybe one of these times I’ll actually be available.

Roommate Drama Update

I got into a text argument with the one roommate who has the big room and car space last week and it ended with a “we’ll talk about this all together back at the apartment.” Never happened. Except tonight I did mention that I was in a bad mood and I’m sorry for coming off too strong, however I did mean what I said so hopefully we can be friends and work something out. This whole ride situation really needs to be discussed and everything because tonight the other roommate with a car was supposed to pick me up from the dance thing at 10:30pm, and she bailed on me because she forgot and made other plans (so that first roommate picked me up).

Other than that, nothing too new. Minuscule, petty things here and there. Quite honestly, it’s almost midnight and I’m super exhausted so that’s also why I’m just summarizing. I just felt the need to update the blog and y’all about my life and what’s happening. I love hearing about your lives too so talk to me!!! Half the time, in between my classes, I sit by myself in the student union watching Netflix because I have nothing else to do!


Hope everyone’s living good, fun lives and making the most of this funky weather! ❤


08/24/2017 | second day of school

First Day of TR Classes

Today I woke up worried about my roommate getting to class on time. Her class started an hour and a half earlier than mine, so I assumed she would want to leave earlier than me. Usually, in the morning before school, she spends quite some time in the bathroom doing her make up. This morning though, she didn’t do her make up so I was tip-toeing around trying not to get in her way for nothing. Oh wells, better communication is needed next time. Luckily, I didn’t have to leave until much later so it didn’t make me late or anything like that. She was also super nice this morning. Before I got in the shower/before she left, she was like “i know you’re on your period…” and in my head I was thinking she was about to ask me to do something, but then she continued and said that if I ever have any “cravings” she could take me because she knows how bad period cravings can get.

After getting out of the shower, I started getting ready. One of my roommates, the one without a car, was getting ready so she could walk with me to school. I thought that was the nicest gesture ever. Her classes started an hour or two after mine, but she volunteered to walk with me to school so I wouldn’t have to walk alone. I must say though, I was getting really paranoid about being late because we left about 15 minutes after we originally said we would leave. No worries, though! She walks really fast so we got there 20 minutes before my class started. She even showed me where my class was in the building. I’ve come to enjoy walking with people to/from/around school because it makes it seem like we haven’t actually walked that much.

So, I got into my first class with 10 minutes to spare. This class had a bunch of desks facing the front, where a big long desk you often see in science classrooms was for the teacher. A girl came in late and sat next to me, and after class we talked and she told me she was a second year student and she showed me where the library was so that I could study/do my homework. Very kind girl; hopefully a new friend. I also found out later through his Snapchat story, that someone I knew in high school was actually in that same class with me.

After my first class, I had a 3 hour break until my next class started. At first I was at the library’s first floor, and I was going to do my readings for another class but I couldn’t figure out where I could go in the library to find that book. Basically, I ended up pacing around the first floor, and ultimately leaving for the student union. Upon arriving at the student union, I found a seat upstairs and did some of my reading on my laptop. However, I eventually finished that and started watching “Jane the Virgin” on Netflix. My roommate and I had planned on meeting up after her class ended, but we said we would meet at the library (since that was where I thought I would be). So I walked back to the library only to be called by her saying she was near the student union because she had to buy books for her classes (she originally thought she could get them at the library, but really she needed to go to the bookstore in the student union). I walked back to the student union and found her eventually. As we were walking into the student union though, one of my other friends from high school Snapchatted me saying he was in the student union too. As my roommate and I walked past him he stood up and waved and I stopped because I hadn’t talked to him in a while. I told my roommate “one minute let me go say hi real quick,” but she kind of kept walking and she was like “oh don’t worry about it, just go eat lunch and hang out with him.” I was so confused, I didn’t know what to do. I guess I didn’t make up my mind fast enough because my roommate had already walked away by the time I realized I’d be ditching her if I went to hang out with my high school friend. I felt really bad, but she seemed fine so oh wells. :/

I talked with my friend about his classes as I ate my lunch. Then another friend who I had hung out with a lot called me and asked where I was, so I told him and he came and sat with us. We all talked and ate and once I was done eating we went outside the student union to the little fair. There were a bunch of fraternities and sororities promoting their houses. As well as clubs that focused on cultural values (ie. Filipino club). After that, we went to friend 1’s apartment for a bit since it’s next to school. Eventually it was time for me to go back to class, so I walked back, found my class, and sat down. Or at least I thought it was my class. It looked like a class had just ended and the teacher was talking about add codes to add her class, so I asked somebody to my right if it was the course I thought it was, and he seemed kind of confused so I looked it up on my phone. Turns out I was in the wrong room! Luckily for me, the correct room was just one door down, and I still had about 5 minutes before class was supposed to start. That class was like any other high school class with desk facing the whiteboard and teacher. The people in that class seemed more talkative than the people in my first class today, but somehow the people in my first class still seemed more friendly.

The class ended half an hour early, so I texted my friend and asked her where she was/if she wanted to hang out before the boba social tonight. I struggled finding her, but I found her soon enough and we just walked around and talked. As we were walking around campus, we saw a bunch of people with school spirit shirts. We tried finding where people were getting all the spirit shirts from and overheard someone at the information/welcome back booth telling someone else that it was over by the tower on the lawn. We found it and it was super busy! There were tables and booths promoting the football game and just getting involved on campus. Later on there was even live music and free ice cream. It was really fun. By then the boba social had started so we made our way over and found another long line. Everything seemed to be testing my patience. We waited in line (because who wouldn’t? it’s free boba) only to be told we weren’t allowed to join because we didn’t live in the dorms. Apparently it was a social for residence only. That was frustrating. So much for “weeks of welcome,” right?

We were kind of bummed after that, but still wanted boba so we went to a boba place nearby. It was so good! There was even a little cat chilllin’ outside. Unfortunately we did have to pay, but at least our boba cravings were satisfied. By the time we got our boba it was dinner time. We searched for nearby restaurants and found a sushi place not too far from where we were (about at 15 minute walk). The food there was super yummy. Expensive, but yummy. The entire time I was bragging about my boyfriend and we were talking about how I could be her wing woman. I realized after dinner how excessive I had been on the topic of my boyfriend, but she was so kind and was like “no don’t worry! he sounds like an amazing guy! you did well, you have every right to brag, etc.” So nice, I think she’s going to be one of my best friends in college, haha. Anyways, I felt stuffed after eating so we walked back to her apartment, dropped off her bookbag, went to the bathroom, and went back out to walk around campus some more. (I had to walk off all that food I just ate!)

I guess there was a party going on because people were walking around dressed like they were about to go to a club. I texted one of my roommates and was like “hey since [other roommate1 with a car] can’t drive me back tonight i’m counting on you to take me home” and she was like “ok nbd” so she came to pick me up and I asked her to drop off my friend at her apartment too since it was dark and I didn’t want my friend walking by herself. My roommate was nice enough to drop her off and bring me back home. However when we got back to the apartment there were no places to park. You see, we have two parking lot openers, but only one reserved space. The other space is first come first serve. Since the other roommate1 with a car was coming home late that night, the two of them had said that she (roommate1) would get the reserved spot and the other roommate (who picked me up) would get a first come first serve spot; which I guess she lost because she had to pick me up. I felt kind of bad a first because she lost her spot due to me. But then I didn’t care at all and I was more thinking along the lines of like “you see this wouldn’t have happened if i had my own car because then i could just drive myself home and you wouldn’t havta lose your spot or take my friend home.”

When I got home I said my chore of the week would be cleaning the kitchen so I did all the dishes and wiped the stove and fridge, organized the cabinets, washed the kitchen towels, etc. All the while jamming out and singing to my playlist. I later went to my room and started on that reading I meant to do at the library and heard my roommate singing with her earbuds in; surprising though because the night before she asked for my headphones because her earbuds were broken..? Anyways, despite the minor set backs all day, it was a good day, and a fun night.

Sorry, I was so focused on doing my readings last night that I forgot to publish this entry.

Hope everyone had a good day even if there were little bummers throughout the day!

08/23/2017 | first day of school

It’s been several days since I actually started living in my new place and it’s going well. The first day I arrived we went grocery shopping. I never realized how expensive food is now. I spent $100+ at Safeway and Target. On another day, a couple of my roommates came into my room and did their make up and talked with me. I found that very interesting and super funny because one girl wears hardly any make up and the other girl has a ton of high-end make up.

There are four of us, and I’ve gotten close to two of the other girls already simply because each of us has some sort of problem with the last girl. Which is unfortunate because school just started. The fact that there are things we dislike about one girl is worrisome, but it makes me feel guilty too that I bonded with our roommates over a dislike for one of our other roommate’s habits. However, I know for a fact that we all still like the roommate, and we all think that if we just talk to her everything will work out eventually. I had a problem with how she was getting more out of the new place but paying the same as me and how she tried convincing me out of getting a car. Her argument was that she could take me wherever I wanted, but the fact of the matter is that she has a job and I need a car to get to/from socials, activities, a job, etc. It is simply impracticable and somewhat unreliable. Anyways, going back to the roommate issues,  another roommate was frustrated she would shoot down advice or suggestions about organizing the kitchen, and the last roommate noted that she was stingy in very unnoticeable ways.

Oh wells, it is what it is. Hopefully we will be able to talk to her and everything will work out nicely.

On another note, my first day of school was today! I had three classes and all three of these classes do not allow laptops, tablets, or phones during class. Bummer, I know. I lugged around my textbooks and laptop all day today without even using them. I also found out I bought a workbook that my professor does not require. It’s frustrating because online, on the school’s bookstore website, it says the workbook is in fact required.

One of my roommates drove me to a shuttle stop specific for our school and we rode a shuttle to school. We got there about half an hour before my first class started. I (thought I) lucked out because our school has its own phone app with a map program for the campus, so I was counting on that to help me get to class. I guess I’m really bad at maps when it comes to schools though because I ended up walking in a circle around the library twice, walked past the same people (because I’d walk one way, stop, turn around and continue walking in the direction I just came from) several times, and ended up using the bathrooms in the student union because I couldn’t find them anywhere else. Aside from the heat and the challenge of finding my classes, I had a really nice day.

After my first class, I met up with a couple friends from my high school and we ate lunch. One of my friends had actually made another friend in his math class so we all talked and ate together. (I brought my leftover spinach and cheese tortellini for lunch.) After that our classes were in similar areas so we even walked to our next classes together. That was super helpful because they just took me to my class instead of me trying to find it on my own. After that class, I met up with a couple friends from another high school that I know from a club. They hadn’t eaten yet so we ate and talked about our classes so far.

The classes themselves were very different. My first class was a very quiet group with an old teacher who likes to joke and make movie references. He accidentally printed out the wrong syllabus for us to go over so that kind of messed him up at first, but the basics were the same so it worked out. It was so sad because he told us on ratemyteacher people call him a grouchy old man, but he seemed nice. His classroom was set up similarly to how most high school teachers set up their rooms. Also, one guy came in about 15 minutes before class ended and the professor kind of sassed him. My second class today was actually a class I tried to switch out of because I signed up for it on accident, but I like the class and no longer wish to switch out. The teacher is very energetic and friendly, and the students were all nice too. I actually talked to several girls in that class (whereas in the first class nobody talked to anybody). His class was set up like a high school classroom too, but he had us move the desks to be in a circle so we could all see each other.  In my last class, there were no seats left by the time I got inside (5 minutes before class started), so I was sort of walking along the side looking for a seat until a guy next to me offered his seat. I was like “oh are you sure? like I’m fine here on the side stairs. it’s no big deal.” but he was like “yeah don’t worry about it.” so I took his seat. Luckily for him, one of the girls in front of me was in the wrong class so he took her seat. This class seemed to have lots of people who would participate in class and the teacher was kind of quieter, but that may just be because the class was formatted in an auditorium design. There was an embarrassing moment for the professor already because she tried to play a video for us but the sound wasn’t working. Turns out she simply didn’t turn on the speakers.

After classes, my roommate came to pick me up (she was already done with classes and came from our place). There’s a social tonight at one of the dorms, but my friends and I don’t know what kind of social it is and it’s apparently in one of the more cramped dorms so I probably won’t end up going. Instead, I’m considering doing homework (yes, I already have assignments) that’s due next week because I want my weekend to be free.

Overall, I’d say it was a good first day of school! I’m a little less nervous now for my other two classes tomorrow. College is much like high school. Professors just expect more from you, and people are more independent.

Hope everyone’s doing well! I’ll try to summarize my day again tomorrow, but no guarantees because there’s a boba social tomorrow night. 🙂

A note to 5 year old me…

Dear 5 year old me,

Thank you for fearlessly being you. Thank you for being proud of your knowledge. Thank you for being proud of your “facts” even when they were wrong. You were amazing for being able to be so stubborn and yet so easily persuaded and gullible.

Kindergarten will be fun! I know that one girl who stole the dolls is annoying, but trust me, she’s actually pretty cool. Plus, you will meet even more amazing girls once you move on from the dolls and go to the building blocks. It may be surprising to have a classmate’s mom take a picture of you playing with her daughter when you hardly know them, but smile anyways. She will be one of your best friends.

Be kind to everyone. One day, when you go on to high school and graduate, the majority of these classmates will still be your friends.

I wish you hadn’t said you would marry that brown haired boy. Please don’t think you will marry someone just because they have the same colored hair as you. Yes, you are precious and everybody should love you, but you are too young to marry someone. Don’t stress too much though, sweetie. He wasn’t all that anyways.

It is okay to cry. It is okay for boys to cry as well. Care for those who are hurt, and one day they will care for you when you’re hurt. You don’t have to be friends with everyone. I just need you to be kind to everyone.

Live life to its fullest while you can. Don’t be such a stickler for the rules. I know, it’s no fun getting in trouble, but you will be fine. When you’re young and cute, you get away with much more than you will in the future. So if you ever want to stay up past bed time to play video games, do it now. If you ever want to go to the big kid playground, do it! Enjoy your first year of elementary school. Enjoy your last year of structured fun. From here on out it’s structured learning. So enjoy!


future you

New Home?

I’m nervous to be moving out of the homes I grew up in. I’m socially awkward and difficult to deal with sometimes, so how is this whole “make new friends” thing going to work? I’m nervous that my new roommates are going to end up hating me because of my living habits. I’m nervous that I won’t be able to find my way to school from my new home….

Is it a new home though? It is definitely a new place to live; a new house. Yet there’s a little piece of me that doesn’t feel completely comfortable calling this new house a home.

It’s so different from my homes that I’ve known. My homes have my family and friends; they’re in cities I know well. This new house does not have my family or friends. I also don’t know the city well. It’s nerve-wracking. Moving to a new city by myself.

A home is supposed to be a place of safety and relaxation, right? This new home makes me nervous. Maybe I’m just being a worry-wart. It will be better once I live here longer. Think positively!! Right? Everything takes time. Of course it will take time for me to feel comfortable on my own. Of course it will take time to develop trust and a good relationship with my roommates. Any change will take time getting used to. I will have fun. 🙂 This will be my new home.

current mood

last listened to in Spanish songs

“Escápate Conmigo” by Wisin, Ozuna

“Despacito” by Luis Fonsi ft. Daddy Yankee

“Me Enamoré” by Shakira

“Subeme la Radio” by Enrique Iglesias, Descemer Bueno, Zion & Lennox

“Reggaetón Lento (Bailemos)” by CNCO

5 Cheap Things to Do During Summer

Summer is ending soon, and, if you’re anything like me, you’ve probably spent a good amount of money. Listed below are some of my favorite summer activities that won’t hurt your wallet.

  1. Go on a hike, walk, or jog. Not only is this a good way  to stay healthy, it is also a fun way to take in nature and get some sun.
  2. Volunteer!! Philanthropy is so rewarding and doesn’t cost a thing!
  3. Host a movie night (movie marathon!!) at home. Microwave some popcorn, turn off the lights and enjoy!
  4. Have a picnic in your backyard. Change things up a bit! Eating outside is better for you than eating in front of your computer.
  5. Build a fort (out of pillows and blankets or out of cardboard and tape). While it may seem childish, it will definitely keep you entertain for quite some time. 🙂